World Wide Search The Savvy Christian's Guide to Online Dating

Chapter One What You Need Going In Give Yourself the Best Chance for Success Let's get real about online dating right from the start. It won't solve all of your dating problems, and it sure isn't the easy way to find a date. In the interest of full disclosure, I feel compelled to bring up two basic caveats. First, online dating has nothing in common with Hollywood movies or effortless Disneyland romance. Listen, I love the movie You've Got Mail. Who doesn't? But face it, Meg and Tom were parroting lines from a script. In real life a really cute Meg Ryan clone doesn't just stumble into an engaging e-mail relationship with a clever, charming Tom Hanks look-alike. It doesn't happen because we don't have a copy of the screenplay, and relationships like that just don't magically happen. But Tom and Meg sure make a cute fantasy couple. The second reality is that online dating takes place in the real world with all of the real-world challenges and limitations. Online dating takes a lot of work and hours of effort. And not everyone will walk away with a wedding ring. If you have been hurt or disappointed in traditional dating, don't expect the Internet to transform your social life. It won't. In fact, cyberspace will actually add a few new wrinkles to the process. Many disillusioned people thought online dating was a guarantee of success. They assumed that all they needed was access to millions of available singles and they would soon find "the one." If that's you, stop and take a deep breath. Online dating appeals to many because it's convenientyou can date from home and on your own schedule. The process is also attractive to many because it allows people to connect with an astounding number of singles. But it's not easy. Online dating is incredibly time consuming. Just getting everything set up, creating your profile, and finding the best online singles communities and matchmaking sites takes preparation, effort, and time. The skills you will learn in this book will put you ahead of the game and will help you avoid confusion, disappointment, and hurt. But since online dating is still evolving, there are no hard and fast rules for success. Much of what you learn about the process you will learn as you go. Just make sure you don't have to learn things the hard way. The Advantages of Dating Online Online communication has several clear advantages. First, people who date online are forced to talk about matters of substance earlier in the relationship. You spend less time in small talk and instead get to know the other person's values, beliefs, and attitudes early in the relationship. So, in most cases, you won't spend months developing a relationship only to discover later that the two of you are incompatible. A second big advantage is captured in the slogan "falling in love from the inside out," used by many online dating sites. When dating online, people get to know each other's hearts without the distraction of outward appearances. Singles who don't match the culture's definition of beautiful people due to body type, age, disability, or income level can meet people who get to know who they really are without being biased by cultural standards. The Internet gives everyone a fair shot at being known for who they are inside. Several other benefits serve as big selling points for online dating: You don't have to rush. As you meet people online, you can keep things low-key as you get to know several people by e-mail. There is no obligation to quickly narrow the field to just one person. You can also coGreen, Cheryl is the author of 'World Wide Search The Savvy Christian's Guide to Online Dating', published 2004 under ISBN 9781578568833 and ISBN 1578568838.