Thirty Days to a Happy Employee How a Simple Program of Acknowledgment Can Build Trust and Loyalty at Work

Introduction Next to physical survival, the greatest need of a human being is...to be affirmed, to be validated, to be appreciated.'Dr. Stephen R. Covey,The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People Few of us would argue that in our most quiet and reflective moments, we suspect -- or perhaps know -- that underneath it all we are innately good people. I believe it is in these moments that we wonder if others see this in us as well. And thus we warm to hearing our goodness validated or affirmed by those around us, especially those who mean the most to us.The warmth cools, however, when we bump up against at least two learned beliefs: The first is that it is rude to come right out and ask others what qualities they admire in us; the second is that our self-worth is less dependent on what others think about us than on what we think about ourselves. While I concur that there is some validity to theintentionsbehind these beliefs, I also believe that to embrace them exclusively, independent of the input of others, limits our getting what we want and deserve from others, an ongoing validation that our goodness is seen and valued by those who are most important to us.As human beings we are greatly underacknowledged and underappreciated. The irony is that we didn't start out that way. As infants, we received an almost unlimited amount of positive feedback and attention. Even our burps and wails were oohed and aahed over by adults whose behavior made us believe that our every movement and utterance was something special. Someone has said that we see children as geniuses because they haven't been hypnotized by limitations. Somewhere along the way, however, the very things for which we used to be praised began to be ignored -- or worse yet, we were chastised for them. We slowly but surely learned that who we are in and of ourselves is not praiseworthy; that we must now exhibit approved-of learned behaviors if we are to continue to receive a positive response.Eventually, absent some kind of sustained affirming input, we tend to disconnect from our intrinsic qualities. We choose instead to believe the social mirrors that constantly compare us to impossible norms. As a result, that which we know to be good about ourselves becomes mired in self-imposed criticism from which we rarely allow ourselves to recover. Thus, the reminder from another of the qualities we possess becomes a powerful connector that intrudes most effectively on those self-imposed limitations.It is not my intention in this book to provide a mass of psychological data that confirm our need to be validated. I am not qualified to do so, nor do I believe such information is necessary to support the premise of this book -- namely, that it is in our own and others' best interest to provide some kind of ongoing, sustaining affirmation of the value and contributions of those around us.Much of this book is focused on the workplace, since surveys have shown for a long time that we are missing the mark at the organizational level when it comes to affirming the contributions of employees. Employees are the folks who make it possible for a business to make a profit, keep its customers, and go about the day-to-day routine of keeping the doors open and the company running.Another reason this book targets employers as the logical starting place is that corporate America is one of the most influential places I know of for getting the word out to as many people as possible that they are valued, appreciated, and acknowledged. This is because sooner or later most of us wind up in the workplace. The amount of time we spend in our home environments, growing up or in school, is usually much shorter than the amount of time we spend working.Selfishly stated, I want to reach as many readers as possible, and I believe that focusing on the work environment can accomplish that. That admission notwithstanding,Gandy, Dottie Bruce is the author of 'Thirty Days to a Happy Employee How a Simple Program of Acknowledgment Can Build Trust and Loyalty at Work', published 2001 under ISBN 9780684873299 and ISBN 068487329X.