Negotiation Boot Camp How to Resolve Conflict, Satisfy Customers, and Make Better Deals

WEEK ONE Is There a Negotiator in Your Closet? The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves. SHAKESPEARE,JULIUS CAESAR Conflict seems to be part of the human condition. Regardless of what the issue is, we will find a way to fight over it. In spite of this tendency, human beings have always tried to get along. What is the greatest invention in history: Fire? The wheel? E = mc2? In my view, it is the art of negotiation. Negotiation is about getting along. Let me give you my definition of negotiation: Negotiation is the process of overcoming obstacles in order to reach agreement. What is the primary obstacle? The difference between your position and my position. Human beings invented negotiation to stop ourselves from physically harming each other (or worse) when our respective positions appear to be incompatible. The history of conflict resolution from the last ice age to the present suggests that without the art of negotiation, the human population would be significantly smaller. The objective of negotiating is to reach agreement. So in one sense, a successful negotiation is one that culminates in agreement. There are times, however, as we will see, when the lack of agreementanimpasseordeadlockcan signal a successful outcome; that is,ifwe determine that, in this particular instance, an agreement is not in our best interest. All things considered, I prefer to think of a successful negotiation as one in which at least one of the parties is satisfied with the outcome.Satisfactionis the key element in every successful negotiation. In a traditional adversarial negotiation, such as the sale of a house, the negotiation is successful ifyouare satisfied. In a cooperative (win-win) negotiation, success occurs whenboth partiesare satisfied. One point of clarification here.Satisfactionmeans that you get what you need, not necessarily what you want. What youneedand what youwant are not always the same thing. You need a car to get to work. You want a Lexus or a Mercedes, but your budget won't stretch that far. A Honda will do the job. So your need is met and you can be satisfied with a Honda. There is also an important difference between yourneedand your statedposition. Your need is what you must get in order to solve a problem. Your position, on the other hand, is what yousay you want. Occasionally, a negotiator may put forth a position that asks for more than she truly needs. Satisfaction occurs when the need is met, not when a position is satisfied. In a negotiation, instead of being sidetracked by positions, it is essential to focus on the other negotiator's needs. PROFILE OF A NEGOTIATOR I believe the kind of negotiation we should strive for is one in which both parties achieve satisfaction. What kind of negotiator is able to make this happen? Can we create a profile for the successful negotiator? Below are the ten traits I've found that successful negotiators tend to have.How many of them do you share? 1. Negotiation Consciousness We've all heard the phrase "Everything is negotiable." In the world of negotiation, my world, that is literally true.Negotiation consciousnessis what I call the mind-set of people who make deals. A person who has high negotiation consciousness tends to be assertive in stating what he wants and challenges everything. And that meanseverything. You cannot achieve what you want in a negotiation if you are unwilling to challenge the other person's position. The classic example of low negotiation consciousness is often seen in the area of contract negotiations. Even the most experienced buyers and sellers are intimidated by contraBrodow, Ed is the author of 'Negotiation Boot Camp How to Resolve Conflict, Satisfy Customers, and Make Better Deals', published 2006 under ISBN 9780385518499 and ISBN 0385518498.