Lessons on Love Building Deeper Relationships

Lessons on LoveCopyright © 1996 by Willow Creek AssociationRequests for information should be addressed to:Zondervan, Grand Rapids, Michigan 49530ISBN-10: 0-310-26593-2ISBN-13: 978-0-310-26593-1All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible: New InternationalVersion®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission ofZondervan. All rights reserved.All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, ortransmitted in any form or by any means-electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or anyother-except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher.Interior design by Rick Devon and Michelle EspinozaPrinted in the United States of America05 06 07 08 09 10 11 12 /?DCI/ 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1S E S S I O N 1 L E S S O N S O N L O V ELOVINGLESSONST H E B I G P I C T U R EWhen a building is being constructed, the groundwork is criticallyimportant. If the foundation is faulty, the whole buildingwill be unstable. If the foundation is solid, the building will bestable and stand firm under stress.The same is true when building loving relationships. We needto have a solid foundation on which to build. If we don''t, thewhole structure of the relationship is in danger. If we have asolid base of love, we can experience deep and meaningfulrelationships.Although all of us desire to be genuinely loving, we all havedifferent natural capacities for receiving and expressing love.If I were to teach a ski class, there would inevitably be a varietyof skill levels displayed. Some people would barely be able tostand up. They would be falling over in the lift line, impalingthemselves on their ski poles, or accidentally stabbing thosearound them. Others could negotiate the bunny slope with acertain amount of confidence. And then there would be thosewho could ski down the hills with ease and style. It doesn''tbother us to think about how some people are better at a certainsport or activity. However, when it comes to loving, we assumeeveryone has acquired the same abilities and skills. The hardtruth is that some people have a great natural ability to love,while others have to work at expressing love.There are a variety of loving capacities among the members ofyour small group. This may be partly the result of how muchlove each received in their family as they were growing up. Itis also determined by basic temperament and personality. Someof us have soft and gentle temperaments, while others do not.Our capacity to love is also based on how we have respondedto the things life has thrown at us. Life is a mixed bag. Somepeople encounter obstacles and difficulties and becomeincreasingly bitter and hard-hearted over the years. Otherstend to become more open and kind and gentle over time. Inalmost every group there will be those who are more naturallycaring and kind and others who can be short-fused, calloused,and even a little tough-hearted. The majority of us are somewherein the middle.A W I D E A N G L E V I E W1. Put an "X" on each line below to indicate where youwould place the following people in relationship totheir ability to feel and express love.Your fatherTenderhearted Tough-HeartedExpressive of love Not expressive of loveYour motherTenderhearted Tough-HeartedExpressive of love Not expressive of loveYouTenderhearted Tough-HeartedExpressive of love Not expressive of loveWhy did you choose to put the "X" where you did on eachline?A B I B L I C A L P O R T R A I T2. In this passage we are called to "spur one another ontoward love and good deeds." If you view your smallgroup members as the "one another" in this passage,what can you do to "spur one another on" to be moreloving?S H A R P E N I N G T H E F O C U SRead Snapshot "You Matter to God!"3. What would you say to a person in your small group toexpress to them how much they matter to God?YOU MATTER TO GOD!God wants to see each of us transformed iHybels, Bill is the author of 'Lessons on Love Building Deeper Relationships', published 2005 under ISBN 9780310265931 and ISBN 0310265932.