Economy of Errors Satirewire Gives Business the Business

ANNALS OF MARKETING TOYS R US to Become TOYS R US NEW LOGO FEATURES MORE BACKWARD LETTERS For decades, the backward "R" in Toys "R" Us has made it one of the most recognizable names in retailing. But with the advent of the Internet, TRU realized one backward letter wasn't going to be enough to overtake swifter online competitors. So last week, the Paramus, New Jersey--based toy titan announced it had reversed the "T" in Toys and the "U" in Us, giving it three backward letters and, claimed company executives, "three times the brand awareness." Industry observers were skeptical of the move, with one analyst insisting that spinning the two letters around made "absolutely no difference whatsoever...right?" But TRU executives were equally insistent that the change heralded a new era for the nation's leading toy retailer. "Turning the "R" around was the most important decision this company ever made," said CEO Michael Goldstein. "It made us a household name by causing consumers to do a double take. But over time, this reversal has been taken for granted, so today we reveal that the letters beginning the two other words in our name are also backward, a move which we expect will bring even more attention to our brand by causing consumers to do triple and quadruple takes." While the reversal takes effect immediately, company executives conceded it will take several months to change the signage at its 1,500 stores worldwide. Goldstein said the company will take a charge in the fourth quarter to pay for the change, but declined to provide any numbers. Analysts, however, estimate new signs alone will cost $30 million to $40 million, while printing new Geoffrey Dollars will run another $20 million. Old Geoffrey Dollars bearing the original name will be honored at all stores, a company spokesman said. Merrill Lynch analyst Dee Sabeej said she isn't convinced the expense will be worthwhile. "I've spent the last hour typing it out, writing it out, and doing it in my head," she said. "I've even had co-workers write it for me, but for the life of me, I can't see any difference in the old and new name. I have to conclude that either I just don't get it, or this is a remarkably stupid decision and a horrible waste of corporate resources." However, Karl Merrifield, editor of trade magazine TOY! said that view is shortsighted. "The key to obtaining and retaining consumer mindshare in the recreational amusements industry is to have a name that concentrates on a letter or letters," said Merrifield. "The 'R' in Toys R Us, the 'F', 'A', and 'O' in FAO Schwarz, the 'K-B' sound in KayBee. This strategy clearly works with consumers, and by bringing added attention to its 'T' and its 'U', Toys 'R' Us is now more letter-centric than any of its competitors." BLEEDING EDGE AT&T TO LAY OFF 120 PERCENT OF WORKFORCE Quaker Oats Employees Puzzled by Pink Slips AT&T last week announced it would reduce its workforce by an unprecedented 120 percent by the end of 1995, believed to be the first time a major corporation has laid off more employees than it actually has. AT&T stock soared more than 12 points on the news. The reduction decision came after a year-long internal review of cost-cutting procedures, said AT&T Chairman C. Michael Armstrong. The initial report concluded the company would save $1.2 billion by eliminating 20 percent of its 108,000 employees. From there, said Armstrong, "it didn't take a genius to figure out that if we cut 40 percent of our workforce, we'd save $2.4 billion, and if we cut 100 percent of our workforce, we'd save $6 billion. But then we thought, why stop there? Let's cut another 20 percent and save $7 billion. "We believe in increasing shareholder valMarlatt, Andrew is the author of 'Economy of Errors Satirewire Gives Business the Business' with ISBN 9780767908870 and ISBN 0767908872.